maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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