you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
