Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
