Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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