i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
