M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
