kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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