I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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