Nicole vs. Life
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
