I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
