And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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