Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
