don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
