my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
