just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
