it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
