Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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