Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
