I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
