dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
