it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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