Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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