My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
