We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
