He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you had me at cake vodka
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
