That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
