Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
