Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
