When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
