Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
