His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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