Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
