just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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