Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I need a burrito and a hug.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
