Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
