I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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