I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We need a shit load of segways right now
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
