i permit you to call me
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize