You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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