it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
