I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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