ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
