Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
