you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
