There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
