I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
