You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
