Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
