found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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