In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Ketchup is God's man juice
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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