Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
