When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize