Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
