the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
