There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
