I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
