Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
