if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
