I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
