She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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