i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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