At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
