I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
