Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
